Funny Things From Around The World

 Funny Political Stuff:

Its the time of year for Christmas lights. They really remind me of many of the voters who recently elected President Obama to a second term. They have energy; they all hang together; many of them don't work; and those that do work aren't very bright.

 

Funny Stuff:

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

 

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.

 

When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what Martha?"

  

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

 

 "I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."

 

Funny Political Stuff:

If President Obama thought he inherited a mess at the start of his first term, he is REALLY going to be upset at what he has to deal with at the start of his second term.

 

 

Funny Political Stuff:

I generally dislike making election predictions but I will make one today:

President Obama will take a very early lead tomorrow (election day) until the Republicans get off work.

 

Funny Political Stuff:

Obama & God Have Only ONE Thing in Common: No Birth Certificate!

The BIG Difference is God Does NOT Think He's Obama.

 

Funny Political Stuff:

New Rules for Secret Service Agents. They will no longer be allowed to have unruly parties in foriegn countries and procure hookers while on duty. If they wish to do this, they can run for public office.

 

Funny Political Stuff:

I'm throwing my hat into the ring with just one campaign promise:

 "Every Monday will be a National Holiday!"

 

Funny Political Stuff:

"May the Best Loser Win."

Funny Political Stuff:

Select One:

Republican

Democrat

Pissed Off  X

 

Book Just Released!

Print Version NOW available! The E-Book version of "The Funniest Political Emails..." has just released and is available at Amazon.com! 

 

Funny Political Stuff:

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, "Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

 

Funny Political Stuff:

"Geez, while I was reading about all this Chik-Fil-A stuff, I almost forgot about the out-of-control unemployment and the $16 Trillion debt."

 Funny Political Stuff:

"I'm Playing Through!"

 

Funny Political Stuff:

WAYS OF THE WORLD:
SOCIALISM 
You have 2 cows. 
You give one to your neighbor. 

COMMUNISM 
You have 2 cows 
The State takes both and gives you some milk. 

FASCISM 
You have 2 cows. 
The State takes both and sells you some milk. 

BUREAUCRATISM 
You have 2 cows. 
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. 

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 
You have two cows. 
You sell one and buy a bull. 
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. 
You sell them and retire on the income. 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 
You have two cows. 
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. 
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. 

A FRENCH CORPORATION 
You have two cows. 
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. 

A CHINESE CORPORATION 
You have two cows. 
You have 300 people milking them. 
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. 
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION 
You have two cows. 
You worship them. 

A BRITISH CORPORATION 
You have two cows. 
Both are mad. 

AN IRAQI CORPORATION 
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. 
You tell them that you have none. 
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. 
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy. 

A GREEK CORPORATION 
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. 
You eat both of them. 
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call theIMF. 
The IMF loans you two cows. 
You eat both of them. 
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. 
You are out getting a haircut.

 

Funny Political Stuff:

 

Funny Political Stuff:

 

Random Funny Stuff:

I'm very sorry to hear that your Facebook stock is now as worthless and your Facebook posts.

Random Funny Stuff: 

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Funny Political Stuff:

Before his death, Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one compound and didn't leave the house for 5 years.
It is now believed he called the Navy Seals himself.

Funny Political Stuff:

 

Funny Political Stuff:

*You can't completely stop STUPIDITY, but you can VOTE it out!

 

Random Funny Stuff: 

*10 out of 7 people are bad at math.